Sms jokes

Bhai ye to jokes hai bai Ha....ha....ha....ha.....Apun ko laga asli hai

Pathan Kaun Banega Crorepati Mein:
Q: What is you father name?
Pathan: Plz Options?
A. Dilawar
B. Changez
C. Feroz
D. Sultan

Pathan: Life line 50/50
A. Dilawar
C. Feroze
Pathan: Audience Vote.
75% Dilawar
25% Feroze
Pathan: I want to use My last life line “Phone a friend.”
Kisko call karengy?
Pathan: Apne baap dilawar ko!

Ek baar ek ladka rastey mein chalte chalte ek gadhe ke samne gir gaya.

Tabhi ek ladki ne use chhedte hue kaha, “Apne bade bhai ka aashirwaad le rahe ho kya?”
Ladke ne palat kar jawab diya, “Sahi farmaya bhabhi ji.”

 

 

 

Teacher: Tumhare papa 500 rupees loan lete hai. 10% interest ke hisab se woh 1 saal baad loan vapis karte hai. Batao kitne paise vapis karenge?
Bania’s son: Kuch bhi nahi.

Teacher: Tum maths nahi jante.
Banis’s son: Main toh maths janta hoon, par aap mere papa ko nahi jante.

Teacher to a student: “Ess line ki english banao- Usne apna kaam kiya or karta hi gaya.”

Student – He done his work and done-dana-dan done-dana-dan
Circiut: Bhai, who apnay bachpan ka dost aarehla hai aaj raat ko dinner pe.
Mera Sara chain collection apne kamray mein chupa do na please.

Munna bhai: Kyun tera dost chor hai kya?
Circiut: Nahin Bhai, woh apne chain pehchan lega

Ek gora aadmi tha. Jab uska ladka paida hua toh woh kala tha.
Tabhi woh apni patni ke paas jata hai aur poochta hai, “Yaar main bhi gora tha tum bhi gori thi to bachcha kaise kala paida ho gaya”

Aur phir uski biwi ne jawab diya, “Darling main bhi hot tum bhi hot sayad bachcha jal gaya hoga.”

Girl : If you will try to kiss me main shor macha dungi

Boy : Lekin yahan to dur tak koi nahi hai.

Girl : I know per formality to karni hi padegi.

Maalik: Tum bathroom mein kyu ghus aaye, Kya tumhe pata nahi tha ki mein naha raha hoon?

Naukar: Hazur galti ho gayi, mein samjha tha begum sahiba hai.

Train mein TT Sadhu se bola : Kahan jana hai?
Sadhu : Jahan Ram ka janam hua tha.
TT : Ticket hai?

Sadhu : Nahin
TT : Chalo
Sadhu : Kahan?
TT : Jahan Krishan ka janam hua tha.. Jail mein

Gabbar : Kitne admi they?

Sambha : Sardar 2

Gabbar : Mujhe ginti nahin aati, 2 kitne hote hain?

Samba : Sardar 2, 1 ke baad aata hai

Gabbar : Aur 2 ke pehle?

Samba : 2 k pehle 1 aata hai.

Gabbar : To beech mein kaun ata hai?

Samba : Beech mein koi nahi aata

 

 

Two married friends Rahul and Rohan talking on the topic of the married woman,
Rahul: Wife ko begum kyun kehte hai?

Rohan: Kyuki shaadi ke baad uske saare gum husband ke hisse mein chale jaate hai aur wife begum ho jaati hai…