Saturday 30 June 2012

Bollywood jokes

Socho agar doctor film banate to title kya hota?
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Crazy Doctor
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1. Kabhi khansi kabhi jukam
2. kaho naa bukhar hai
3. TB no 1
4. Kal patient ho na ho
5. Hum blood de chuke sanam 

                                                                                                                                        
Movie Director, “Now you have to jump from the 10th floor.”
director.jpg
Nervous Actor, “But suppose I got injured or killed?”
Director, “Thats the idea, coz its the last scene of the movie.”

                                                                                                                         

One day Robert present a MURGA as a gift to Ajit. Ajit was in a great mood .
Ajit : Robert! Iss ke saamne daru ka glass rakho.
Robert : (Shocked) Lekin kyon boss?
cock
Ajit : Jab iss ke same daru ka glass rakha jaye ga taab usse hume kahenge “PEA-COCK”.
                                                                                                                   
Bhakt : Meri shadi Aishwarya se kara do.
Bhagwan : Uski ek saree 1 lac ki hai, tu kharcha kar payega.
god
Bhakt : Koi upay bhagvan
Bhagvan : Mallika Sherawat.


                                                                                                                        

Computer programmar
Some future film titles will be like :-
1) Meri disk tumhare paas hai—Humara dil apke paas hai
2) Aao chat kare—Aao Pyar Kare
3) Programmer no.1—Coolie no.1
4) Mera naam developer—Mera naam joker
5) Java wale job le jayenge—Dilwale dulhaniya le jayenge
                                                                                                             
Scene: Ajeet thouroughly disgusted with Mona daaa..arrling’s typing.
Ajeet: Raaberrt, Mona ke dono hathon ko kaat do.
20142374thm.jpg
Raabert: Magar kyoon baas ?
Ajeet: Typing to nahi atee, kamsekam shaarthand to seekh legi.

                                                                                                                            Ajit is watching cricket match of India vs.Pakistan. Kapil is bowling and Imran is batting. Pakistan needs 18 runs in 3 balls.
Ajit : Rabert Kapil se kehna ek khatarnak Beemer daalde aur Imran ko out karde.
Rabert : Ok boss Robert goes to Kapil and tells the message.
Kapil nods and bowls but Imran hits it for a six!
Cricket
Ajit : Rabert ab Kapil se kehna ek khatarnak Yorker daalde aur Imran kaa kaam tamam karde.                                                                                                                   
Jab Gabber paida hua to uski maan ne usse 3-4 thappad lagaye.
Gabber’s Father: Kya baat ho gayi?
Mother: Kambakht paida hote hi pooch raha tha KITNE AADMI THEY…
Gabbar
                                                                                                                    

Ek Devta ka mandir tha jisme buri niyat wale gayab ho jata tha.
Salman gaya aur gayab ho gaya, Shahrukh gaya aur who bhi gayab ho gaya.
Mallika Sherawat gayi aur bhagwan gayab ho gaya!
Mallika Sherawat
                                                                                                            


      

Thursday 28 June 2012

Hindi sms and Jokes





बेवकूफ बनाया है

लड़का – तुम मेरे सपनों में, ख्वाबों में, जज्बातों में रहती हो !
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लड़की – भैया, तुमको किसी ने बेवकूफ बनाया है … मैं तो दिल्ली में रहती हूँ !!!




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